When I was about 4 years old, my parents took me to see Santa Claus at the Hudson’s Bay, in downtown Calgary.  During my visit with Santa, I was presented with a porcelain “wishing bell.”  For every Christmas since, it has been part of my Christmas tradition.  Once the tree is decorated, we stand around it, holding hands and each offer a wish – really a prayer – and then the bell is hung on the tree at the highest point.  The tradition that began for me as a child is now shared every year with my husband and boys.  In...

Slow Parenting – Take Time to be Family Slow down the reactions.                     Take time to breathe, notice and laugh.   Slow down the accumulation.             Take time for gratitude and gift-giving.   Slow down the fear.                              Take time to celebrate.   Slow down the solutions.                     Take time to listen.   Slow down the entertainment.           Take time to be restless and bored.   Slow down the virtual.                          Take time for nature.   Slow down the drive to achieve.    ...

Emotions are messy. It’s true!  I remember as a child hating to cry because it took so much energy. But they are called e-motions because they are meant to move.  They are meant to be expressed and they are meant to move us to a freer place in our lives where we can adapt and be creative in the situation with which we are dealing.   There are not good emotions and bad emotions.  All emotions serve a purpose.  However, if they aren’t expressed, if we push them down inside and try to hold back, they are just going to get...

Great-Aunt June is coming to visit. You haven’t seen her for years. You remember her as someone who always wanted you to stand up straight, use good manners and remember proper etiquette.  You have talked to your children about being on their best behaviour.  You are anxious to impress Great-Aunt Jane with just how well you’ve done, now that you are an adult and a parent.  The doorbell rings, you take a deep breath, and welcome Great-Aunt Jane.  Even at age 94, she enters with all the elegance and poise of your early memories.  You kiss her on the cheek, and...

June may be my least favourite month of the year.  It always feels so rushed. Instead of enjoying the warmth in the air and the beauty of spring green and early flowers, I feel instead as if I’m rushing to catch up.  Somehow June 30th looms as a deadline by which so much needs to be done, including all the concluding activities associated with school and sports and extra-curricular lessons.   The first year I taught school, I got to June 1st and realized that I’d covered only half of the math curriculum. I’d been having such a good time exploring...

We’ve all done it. Stood there at the book shelf labelled “Self-Care” in the library or bookstore and scanned it in hopes of finding that one book which would bring everything back into balance, which would answer that longing, that need, that struggle within ourselves.  We search for the right title, the one that will resonate with the need we feel but just can’t name.   But have you ever bought a self-care book that really did it – that really filled the need within you?  Oh, it might have some good ideas!  It might offer some phrases and thoughts that...

We’ve all been there – that moment when our child has burst out with angry and hurtful words at an inappropriate moment or in frustration has flung out their arm and hit their teacher (or grandparent) or hauled off and kicked another child for taking their toy.   The recipient of the angry outburst is hurt.  We are feeling embarrassed.  We want our child to say, “Sorry,” because we know they’ve done something wrong.  But there is no Sorry in them.  They feel absolutely justified in their anger and frustration, and maybe rightly so.    Do we force them to apologize...

I watched my husband move toward the edge to look into the chasm of the Victoria Falls.  My whole body reacted.  I felt weak, my knees rubbery and panic gripped me.  I needed him to move back from the edge and it needed to happen now.  Now! NOW!   Though Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe is classified as the largest water in the world and there are no fences along the edge of the large chasm, my reaction was not logical. David was on his belly, inching forward. He was safe. He was being cautious.  So why did I go into such...

There is something appealing about Mr. Spock from Vulcan on Star Trek.  Steady, controlled, logical, calm and cool in the face of danger.  But really not much fun to be around and with no allowance to connect, love and attach to other people.  The reason – emotions are messy! They are inconvenient and disruptive, catching us at awkward times and leaving us feeling weak and overwhelmed.   Emotions are even messier and harder to deal with when we see them in our children.  They don’t have their tantrum safely in their room at home, out of sight and sound of others,...

We are either a conduit for the stresses of the world or a buffer from the stresses for our child. Alphie Kohn    You’ve probably heard reference to “helicopter” parents. I know that I’ve been accused of being one. And I really don’t mind.  We as parents are meant to buffer our children, to protect them and to shelter them in the storms of life.  But there is a fine line that we walk.   My definition of “helicopter” parent is one who won’t let their child do anything for fear of injury (mental, physical and/or emotional), for fear of the...