We want our children to have good morals and good ways of living. We want them to know how to work with others and to have happy healthy relationships. But we tend to focus on their behaviour. We reward or praise good behaviour and punish or criticize bad behaviour. But if we really want good behaviour (and good morals and good living) for our children, we don’t start with the behaviour. Neither praise nor punishment will create the long term inner faith, morals and happiness we want for our children. Life-long good living for our kids comes in this way:
a. we surround our children with the unconditional love of home, family and community. When they know that they are loved and safe, they can grow and mature.
b. we model the way of living we wish for our children. Our words, actions and choices sink in and inspire. Our children learn more from what we do than what we say.
c. we understand that younger kids can’t hold two things in their mind at once: “I want this cookie” and “Mommy said, “No.” The stronger one wins (I want this cookie). It takes maturity to learn to balance and think through the two thoughts to make a wise decision. (Even adults have a hard time with this.)
c. we say “No” to things that shouldn’t be done, and let our “No” be enough. Getting angry, punishment or consequences will not make kids remember any better.
d. we script behaviours. “Let’s go and say, “Thank you for inviting us to this birthday party.” “When we hurt someone, we say we’re sorry.” We go with our child and, if they aren’t ready to say, “Thank you” or “Sorry” then we say it and model it for them.
As followers of Jesus, we let our actions show our faith. In Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, he created a list of what we do when we follow Jesus. (see below) As followers of the Way of Jesus, we are asked to go above and beyond, to show more love, more generousity, more hospitality. Love our enemies. Welcome the stranger. It’s not about having the right beliefs about Jesus or God. It’s about having such a strong sense of their presence in our lives that we can live these high standards and model them for our children. Being a follower of Jesus takes practice. It takes a community of love and faith that supports us. Just as we model for our children good and healthy ways of living, so our faith community models and supports a life of following the Way of Jesus. When we support each other and model for our children the Way of Jesus, then we will not be overcome by evil, but we will overcome evil with good. Isn’t that amazing!
This is how we follow the Way of Jesus:
ᛟ Let your love be real.
ᛟ Hate what is evil; but hold on to what is good.
ᛟ Care for one another in a loving community.
ᛟ Outdo one another in showing respect to each other.
ᛟ Do not get tired and give up; let God’s Spirit give you energy.
ᛟ Serve Jesus by caring for others.
ᛟ Be joyful and give thanks.
ᛟ Pray all the time – never stop.
ᛟ Give generously.
ᛟ Welcome strangers.
ᛟ Bless those who are mean to you.
ᛟ Celebrate with those who are celebrating; and cry with those who are crying.
ᛟ Live in harmony with one another; get along with each other.
ᛟ Don’t push to be first in line; but quietly live as Jesus showed you.
ᛟ Don’t focus on the bad things; look for beauty all around you.
ᛟ Do your part to live in peace with others.
ᛟ Don’t try to get even; let God take care of things.
ᛟ If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink; your generousity will surprise them.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.