Time to play with joy! Does that sound odd to you!
Isn’t joy natural? Why would we need to play with joy? However, when I walk down the sidewalk, the smiling faces stand out because there are so few of them and so many sad and stressed faces. I was flicking through photos of the models wearing a particular designer’s fall line of clothing and what I noticed is that none of them were smiling or happy. They all had very stern faces. It seems to be the “in” thing in the fashion industry. How sad!
And then there is the news – how often is there good news there? While we should keep our children, especially younger or more sensitive ones, away from much of the news, they hear about it. Very little joy there. What our children see all to often around them are stern, stressed faces.
But life is meant to include joy and gratitude. We will have times of sadness and times of joy. Times of celebrating and times of grieving. Yet, in our world, I think that those stern, stressed, alarmed faces are what are most common.
One of my favourite scripture verses is “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 As followers of the Way of Jesus, we are to look for the joy and the beauty that is around us. We are to seek something for which to be grateful in all situations. Joy and gratitude are to shape our lives.
BUT – BUT – BUT this is alongside the sadness, frustration and alarm we might be feeling. Every emotion must have room to be expressed. We must make room for our children’s sadness, frustration and alarm. Rather than trying to calm them down or quiet them, we need to hold them and be with them in these emotions. Once we have acknowledged and come alongside these emotions, there will be time for real joy. But the joy has to come naturally, not be commanded or expected.
Now back to playing with joy! When the time is right for a giggle, you’ll know the best way to get your child going. Sometimes it is saying the opposite, “No giggles here. No smiling.” In a playful stern voice with a smile on your face, “The rule is no giggles. No giggles!” And soon everyone will be giggling.
My husband had a tickle game that our youngest son just loved. They would do experiments to discover whether the toes or the back of the knees or the neck were more ticklish. (Always make sure to pick up on the child’s signals as to when to stop a game such as this.) Often the game would just end in both of them laughing and giggling.
Dressing up in wonderful, fantastic clothes can be a joyful experience.
A simple game such as figuring out how many different silly ways you can walk across the room. Watch John Cleese’s famous “Ministry of Silly walks” for inspiration and for fun.
Play in the mud together – yes, it is okay to get mucky. We (and our clothes) do wash up. Or muck with your hands in jello or spaghetti. Try painting with pudding. Adults, too! Don’t leave all the fun for the children.
Build a popcorn tower and then eat it once it tumbles down. Build a log tower with pretzels. Play “Kerplunk.” Anything that ends with a surprise (not too scary) can lead to giggles.
Or, in the car, try saying Ha! then Ha! Ha! then Ha! Ha! Ha! and keep adding Ha’s until you are all laughing.
Joyful playing, laughing, giggling – when the moment is right, reminds all of us that joy is part of our lives, that all is not horrible and bad and awful. Playing with joy helps us find joy in all of life.
We can’t force joy. We can’t tell a child who is overwhelmed with sadness or frustration or alarm to just be happy! Saying, “What have you got to be sad about?” or “Why in the world are you afraid?” or “Don’t be frustrated – you should be happy with what you’ve got.” NONE of that works. Emotions are emotions. We can’t tell someone not to have them. We need to come alongside and honour the emotion – and when we do, we might just be surprised at how soon we get to true joy. We can’t rush there. We can’t force it. But by making room for all emotions, joy will also have its place.
The Psalms are a whole compendium of emotions, a great resource for expressing our feelings. Joy is right there alongside all of the others.
Psalm 100 declares: “Make a joyful noise all the earth!”
What more joyful noise can there be than the laughter and giggles you share with your children.
Psalm 148 has sea monsters, snow and frost, wild animals and creeping things all singing in joy in the presence of God, praising God with their whole being.
Psalm 150 is another psalm of joy, and ends with these beautiful words:
“Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!”
In God, we find true joy. Around us, in our society, there are all sorts of promises of happiness. If we purchase the right item, if we are able to retire at age 55, if we participate in the right sports or activities, if we remodel our house in the right way, if we have the perfect haircut or hair colour – we are told that we will be happy. Indeed, some of these things might bring some happiness – but it is always a mixed thing. Such happiness can be fleeting or complicated by other factors.
In God, we find true joy. We don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love and the joy that comes with it. God doesn’t reject us if we somehow think we’ve failed. God’s love is great and all encompassing. We can rest in God’s love, knowing that God is working with us in ways beyond anything we can ask for or imagine. In God’s love, we can relax, rest, be - and engage in joyful play, or anything other kind of play, knowing that God is with us, and that is the best thing of all.
Joy – we play it. We pray it.
Have fun making a joyful noise together with your children. God will be delighted!
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