There is one thing, just one thing, that our children need and that we need for this new year, and that is relationship. If we are to make any New Year’s resolutions, we only really need to make one – and that is to spend time on our relationships. There is nothing we can buy, no achievement we can earn, no amount of money we can tuck away, and no job we can have that is as valuable to us as our relationships.
We all need a village of relationship around us. Children need more than their parents; they need a village. A marriage can’t survive without a village of relationships supporting it. Seniors and singles, teens and tots, we all need a village of loving, caring people around us. No one can do it alone – no matter how much money or how much success we have in life.
That is the key – loving, caring people, those who accept us unconditionally – just as we are, those who listen to what we have to share, those who encourage us to be our best selves, those who understand and who offer ideas and stories at the right moment, those who share our values and work with us to live those values, those who show us compassion and are there to care for us to the best of their abilities, and those with whom we can work to make this world a better place. Those are the relationships we need in our village.
For some of us, the unconditional loving relationship may be found in our extended family but, for others of us, extended family does not offer unconditional support and compassion. We can build a village of friends. A church congregation provides a village of all ages, caring for and supporting one another. A neighbourhood or a community group might offer what we need. Remember though that no village is perfect. There will always be situations and mis-understandings to work out among us, but in working them out the relationships will become stronger. A village must be about giving and receiving, growing and learning together, and together reaching out to care for others and for the world.
The key to a village of relationships is that there is commitment. We must be committed to offering unconditional care and support to one another and to being there for one another through whatever life brings our way. The more we show up within the group, the more time we spend with the group, the deeper the relationships will grow and more support we will find and offer in our village. Being part of a village of relationships is a long-term journey together.
Loneliness is epidemic in our society. Loneliness negatively effects our health in a huge way. We can be lonely, even within a marriage or a family. That’s why we need a village. We need more than one person who is there for us, more than one or two people upon whom we can depend. We need a village to be there for us and for our children, a village of committed relationships who will ride with us on the roller coaster of life. Within this village, we can deepen our relationships with our children, our spouse, our friends, and with God.
God is the ultimate relationship in our life – the overarching, all encompassing relationship that grounds all of our other relationships. God is love – unconditional, non-judgemental love, that welcomes us as we are while encouraging us to become our best selves and holding us through the tough times. Deepening our relationship with God helps us deepen our relationships with each other, and deepening our relationships with each other helps us grow in our relationship with God. We need God; we need each other.
So, that’s the one thing we need for the new year! Let’s join together in committing to deepening and growing the relationship we have with God, with our children and spouse (or any significant other), with friends and family, and with our village. We don’t have to spend a great deal of money to do this. We do need to take the time to do so. Playing a board game, going for a walk, gathering with others at church or over a meal, just sitting together and chatting about the day, reading a book together, sitting in silence with God – any moment we can take to connect and to care for one another – let that be our New Year’s resolution this year.
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