We can’t avoid talking about death when we get to Good Friday. We might want to. We might want to protect our children from conversations about death. But that, ultimately, isn’t helpful. Death will be part of each of our lives, from the death of a pet, to the death of a grandparent, to our own death at some point, even though we maybe don’t want to think about that. Protecting our children from conversations about death is no protection at all.
Instead, Good Friday provides one opportunity to show our children how to walk through the death of a loved one, be it pet or human. It provides the opportunity to share our beliefs and our faith, as well spiritual practices that help us in the journey of grief.
The truth is that life and death, joy and sorrow, are interwoven. You can’t have one without the other. As our Christian faith tells us, out of death comes life, out of sorrow comes joy. However, we can’t skip facing death or experiencing sorrow and just get to the good stuff. It is by journeying through the valley of the shadow of death that we come to truly value and engage with life. Our tears are necessary to our health and well-being, for out of tears come adaptation and a path to joy and healing. Life and death, joy and sorrow must be woven together in the fabric of our lives and our children’s lives.
So let Good Friday be part of your faith journey as a family. It is a gift to both you and your children. Here are some ideas:
First of all, when someone dies we remember them and tell stories about them. Sit together, perhaps at the table, and light a candle for Jesus. Then invite everyone to tell stories of Jesus. What do they like about Jesus? What were the most important things about Jesus’ life? What stories did Jesus tell? What is their favourite story about Jesus? Some children might like to draw a picture or write a poem about/for Jesus. End by saying a prayer of thanks for Jesus’ life. (This is a process you could use in your family after the death of a pet or of a loved one.)
Then, talk about the fact that Jesus’ died because the Romans didn’t like the crowds who were coming to hear Jesus teach. Jesus was showing people a Way of love, and sharing God’s love with them. That was taking power away from the Romans, and the Romans wanted to stop him. But the amazing thing was that the Romans couldn’t stop Jesus by killing him. The love of God that Jesus shared with everyone kept on being shared by his disciples. Today, we remember that he died. (You don’t need to go into all the gory details of his death, though older kids may be quite keen to do so.) But we know something that the first disciples didn’t know – Sunday is going to hold a Jesus surprise for us! And we’ll celebrate that on Sunday!
You might like to share this litany as a family. Gather some Lego bricks in different colours (or stones or other objects) and place one in a circle around the candle for each part of the litany.
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