“I’m booooored.” Oh, how I love to hear those words come out of a child’s mouth. My enthusiastic response is, “Wow! How lucky for you. What a great opportunity!” Usually at that point, my kids groan and walk away, though I have to say that I haven`t actually heard them say that phrase for many years now.
It’s not our job as parents to solve our children’s boredom. Boredom is an opportunity for our children, a learning opportunity. It calls on their creativity, their imagination, and their inner resources. If we jump in as parents or adults and immediately try to fix the situation, then we rob children of an opportunity to dig deep and come up with their own solution. We take away their moment of creativity.
Our children have far too much structured time and structured activity. What I`m noticing is that when children are asked what they`d like to do, or invited to come up with ideas for a project, they have no responses, because they are so used to adults doing the planning and creating the structure. They have so little truly free time.
In sports, the goal is clear and the drills are structured, even for the littlest ones. Ever think about the fact that some of the world`s best soccer (football) players come from countries where they play on the streets with no formal training or teams.
We enroll our children in classes, groups and extra lessons. Some of this is excellent in their lives. But we must remember that free time is needed as well, to balance the structured learning of school and activities. When we hear, I`m bored, we can smile and know that we are doing our job as parents.
We are part of their team though, so we can help them reflect when they say, I`m bored. “Did you know that sometimes we are bored when we are tired? Or we can be bored when we are lonely? What kind of bored are you today?”
Sometimes connection is what the child really wants, a hug or cuddle, so that they know they are loved and that their world is okay. So take time to read a story, cuddle in a chair, play a game together, or bake some favourite cookies.
If the “I’m bored” persists, I’m willing to come up with a list of possible activities, but the list will be completely made up of all the household chores that I need doing: sweeping the floor, washing the windows, scooping poop in the back yard, and more. If my child takes me up on one of those jobs, great! But more often I’ll get, “No thanks,” as the child heads off to find something to do.
If we don’t step in, they will find something to do. In the process, they will have learned to organize their time, think creatively about possibilities, and discover their inner resourcefulness. These are great life skills to give our children. We just have to hold back and not jump in with a solution next time our kids say, “I’m bored.”
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