Why? It’s the first question a toddler learns to ask, and once they learn that question, it never stops. Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to wear socks? Why do puppies bark? Their world has opened up and curiosity has sprung forth. Why? Why? Why? And if we dare to provide an answer, it will usually lead to another why question.
Why do I have to wear socks?
Because you need to keep your feet warm.
Why do I need to keep my feet warm?
Because it is cold outside.
Why is it cold outside?
…… and it goes on and on until we usually end up saying, “Just because! Now go play!”
Why? It’s the first question that a toddler learns to ask but also a question that never leaves the human heart. We might stop saying it out loud. We might stop asking it repeatedly. Yet, in our hearts and minds the question lingers.
We watch the news and see so many stories that make us ask, “Why?”
We experience a tragedy and ask, “Why?”
A loved one is diagnosed with serious illness and we ask, “Why?”
We live in pain. We watch our children struggle. We experience the devastation of a natural disaster and we ask, “Why? Why? Why?”
It is the key question of human experience. We are creatures that want to find meaning in our world. We want to make sense of what happens, even when our experiences are senseless. We have a deep need to find a reason, a purpose, an understanding of the situations and circumstances in which we find ourselves and so we ask, “Why?”
A child can turn to a parent, grandparent or teacher with their Why? question. (Hint: if a child asks you, “Why?” turn the question around and say, “Why do you think (the sky is blue, you have to wear socks, etc.) Their answers are fascinating and get you out of answering.)
So, where do we as adults turn? Science provides many answers. Discussions with friends and family and colleagues can give broader perspectives and possibilities. But then there are the questions that really have no answers. Why did that person die so young? Why did that car accident happen? Why did the tsunami hit on Boxing Day? Why the forest fires? Why the flood? These are questions that may have scientific explanations but, in the face of tragedy, it is not the facts that satisfy our hearts. The Why? we are asking is a search for something much deeper, something more than science.
The question of “Why?” is one reason that people come to church (or to another faith community). In the ancient wisdom of the Bible and in the shared experiences of the congregation, we can bring our search for meaning and our desire to make sense of life. Here we can ask our questions and explore with others the feelings and experiences in which those questions are rooted.
Some churches and some faith groups provide very specific answers to questions about the meaning of life, the reason for tragedy and disaster, and the senselessness of certain events. Personally, I have never found these specific answers satisfying. It always feels to me that my questions are bigger than the answers given. I can never rest in answers such as “It is God’s will,” “God needed them in heaven,” “It is God’s punishment,” or “God is in control.” Like the toddler, I find that such answers only bring the next “Why?” question to mind.
What I find in The United Church is a community that can hold my biggest questions and journey with me, without judgement, as I search for answers and express my feelings. In the United Church and in this congregation, I am surrounded by people who are willing to listen to my experiences and who share their experiences. Together in the sharing, we find God’s wisdom among us. I rest in the wonder of a community that cares for each other as we all seek to make meaning in life.
I also bring my Why? questions to the Bible. Sometimes in the words of scripture I find comfort, not in a simple answer to my question, but in words that give hope and encouragement despite the senselessness of the situation. Sometimes in the Bible I find reassurance in discovering that people before me have asked the same questions and experienced the same tragedies – people who lived several thousand years ago!
And I bring my Why? questions to God. I can’t say that I’ve ever had a direct explanation from God. If it came, I don’t imagine that I’d fully understand it. But what I have received from God is sometimes a deep sense of peace or sometimes a new idea that showed me a path forward that I hadn’t thought about. In God, I can rest with my search for meaning, not because I’ve been given an easy or straightforward answer, but because I believe that God’s is greater than any human tragedy or disaster, and because I believe that the loving, compassionate God is with us in every moment, happy or sad, triumphant or tragic.
Life throws us curve balls. Tragedies, disasters, failures, and futilities are part of the human experience. (And yes, you can ask, “Why?”) As human beings, we naturally want to make sense of what happens to us and to this world. Yet I don’t believe there are simple answers, at least none that will satisfy, deeply satisfy, our yearning for meaning.
What I do find is that the church is a good place to bring the quest for meaning. I find that the church is a place where I can engage with others in trying to make sense of life. When there is no meaning to be found, no sense to be made of a situation, then the people of the church provide comfort, companionship, and care.
A church is a place of meaning-making and meaning-seeking. In this place, we turn to God and we turn to each other as we ask the “whys” of life and, in God’s care and in each other’s care, we find hope and healing, even when there are no simple answers. Thanks be to God!
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