First of all, when answering a child’s question, remember:
-Children usually want simpler answers than we give them.
-Children may not be asking the question we think they are asking.
-Children love answering their own questions.
-There is no bad question.
-It is okay not to have an answer right away..
-It is also okay to say that some questions just don’t have answers, at least not right now.
ESPECIALLY – remember that children love answering their own questions.
So, if a child asks me “What is God? Who is God?” or something like that, my very first response would be, “What do you think?” That helps me know what the child is thinking about the question, and it helps me not answer a question they aren’t asking. The lovely thing is that sometimes I never have to answer the question at all – they answer their own question and are quite happy about that. And I learn from them and my faith deepens as I hear their answer.
What I do watch for in their answer, and respond to, are things that I don’t believe and don’t want my child believing. I listen for things they are scared about or worried about. Those I do answer.
So, for example, if my child says, “My friend told me that God will send me to hell if I don’t believe in Jesus,” then I will respond with what I believe, “No, that isn’t what I believe about God. I know some people think that. But when I read the Bible and when I pray, I know that God is all about love. Love is the most important thing. God loves us, no matter what. Yes, I believe in God and I believe in following the Way of Jesus. But I don’t believe that God punishes us now or in the next life. God loves us…..just like I love you.” (And I might end with a big hug and saying, “I love you!”).
For a more general question, not rooted in fears or worries, then I’d let the child tell me more about what they think and why they think that. And I’d add in what I believe, in language and images appropriate to the age of the child.
That means that I need to know what I believe about God. How do I imagine God? We tend to make a human figure out of God – father, mother, king, midwife – but the Bible is full of a diversity of images. I’ve included a list below for you to consider. We use human images, or even animal images (lion, mother bear, eagle) because that is easier to relate to and to understand. So we might say to our children, “I imagine that God is like an eagle who always has a loving eye on us and is watching to support and encourage us. (We don’t want to reinforce the older image of God as the “eye in the sky” that was watching to punish a child’s wrong doing – I don’t believe that is what God does.)
Here are the words I’d use and not use:
-God is love, hope, joy, comfort, peace, compassion, always accepting and forgiving, includes & welcomes everyone. This is what we see in Jesus. These are the primary descriptions in the Bible.
-God is not judging us, punishing us, choosing bad things to happen to us, mad at us.
Mostly, the way I aim to show children who God is – a God of unconditional love – is through my own unconditional love and acceptance. We are, each of us, made in God’s image. May the children I interact with see God’s image reflected in me! And may I watch for God’s image in them.
In Hebrew, these words make up the anagram YHWH, which is not pronounced.
Using Metaphors for God
Remember that an image or word created by humans can never fully describe God.
Each image draws us deeper into our understanding of God.
What image helps you draw closer to God?
What image helps you rest in God?
What does it mean for you to be made in the image of God? (Genesis 1:26-27)
How God is often portrayed. These are less than helpful metaphors.
Nice old man with a beard Do you see God as Santa Claus ready to bring presents to the good children? Is your God making a list and checking it twice?
If we see God this way, we expect good things to happen to us if we live good lives. If the good doesn't happen, or worse, if bad happens, we place the blame on ourselves for not being good enough, or start the comparison game. "I'm better than Jane. Why did she get the promotion?"
Grumpy old judge Do you see God as a stickler for the rules, ready to jump down your throat the moment you step out of line? Does your God's frown constantly say, "If it feels good, don't do it?"
If we see God this way, we live our lives in fear of doing the wrong thing. The danger is that we can want others to follow the rules too - the rules as we interpret them.
Cosmic ATM Is your God a cosmic bank? Do you put in your money and buy a miracle? Does God "want you to be rich?" Many television evangelists would have us think so. This is an old, old way of thinking about God. People from ancient times sacrificed to their gods in the hope of favors.
Yourself Is your God yourself? Do you look in the mirror to see God? Is God merely the best part of you, ready to give counsel when you ask?
Nature Is your God the same as the world or the universe? Do you see no difference between the creator and creation?
Amorphous spirit On the other hand is your God an amorphous spirit? Is the force with you? Is God simply a cosmic force to align yourself with?
How do you imagine God?
The names and metaphors in the Bible provide a richer and more helpful way of understanding God. Have a look …..
Names of God & Metaphors in the Bible
I Am What I Am, Lord (Yahweh/Jehovah), Healer, Provider, Creator, Wisdom, Banner, Justice, Helper, Beloved, Ancient of Days, Hope, Redeemer, Master, Saviour, Advocate, Counsellor, Life
CEO, Co-Pilot, Higher Power, Clockmaker, Baker, Weaver, Divine Therapist, The Force, The Singer, The Ground of Being, G-d, The Source, Architect of the Universe