What do you do when there is no “enthuse” left in your enthusiasm? Has it been awhile since you’ve felt real joy or laughed deep down from your belly? Are you in a situation where your head tells you that you should be smiling and enjoying yourself, but you actually feel totally neutral?
Such a state of lack of feeling is quite natural after all we’ve been through in the past 15 months, or after any situations filled with huge feelings such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job. Think of all we felt on the day of the flood and in those first days and weeks after. We went through fear and high anxiety. We struggled to live each moment not knowing what we would be coming back to. We faced huge, indescribable feelings around the reality of the devastation in our homes and in our town. Next were financial worries and fears. In between were amazing times of overwhelming gratitude and wonder as strangers came to help and donations poured in from across the country. It was an absolute rollercoaster of emotion; not a ride that we chose or for which we were prepared.
That rollercoaster ride of highs and lows, and feelings that turned us upside down or felt like one of those 100 foot drops on the biggest roller coasters – that rollercoaster ride of feelings took a great deal of energy from us. Now 15 months in, it is almost as if we don’t really have any energy left to feel. We smile at the right moments, because our brains tell us to smile. But our hearts aren’t quite in it. After the huge highs and lows of post-flood feelings, our emotions want off the roller coaster; they want a gentle, smooth walk, balancing out the highs and lows with a flat line of feeling.
But that’s not how we want to live our lives, feeling nothing of the joys around us, feeling nothing of the love we know we hold in our hearts for our family and friends. That’s not what we want to offer to our children and grandchildren. We want to give them that big, genuine smile on our faces, and enfold them in a hug that is full of every ounce of love that we have in our hearts. We don’t want to live our lives with flat-lined feelings. We may notice those same flat-lined feelings in our children, especially our teens. So what do we do?
If you find yourself in tears all the time, if you aren’t even noticing joy and love in your life, or if your lack of feeling is getting in the way of being able to function at home and work, then please ask for help. Come talk to one of us at the church (403-652-3168). Connect with the High River Counselling Centre. (403-652-5668) Talk to your doctor. You don’t have to do this alone.
And about that “enthuse” in your enthusiasm! The word “enthusiasm” literally means “to be filled with God.” It is about our spirits being filled to overflowing with the abundance, the love, the wonder of God until we can do nothing but smile, laugh, giggle and grin with pure delight in life.
How do we become enthused again? How do we replenish our spirits with God’s Spirit? It takes time. Just as any wound takes time to heal, so our spirits and emotions need time to heal. The first thing we do is be gentle with ourselves, not loading ourselves down with “shoulds” and “musts,” but giving ourselves and our families permission to do less, accomplish less and have more quiet, free time. The second thing we do is embrace practices and activities that will fill our spirits: prayer, worship & meditation, time with friends, watching a funny movie as a family, going for a walk in the fall leaves, working on a quilt, doing a puzzle, listening to favourite music, surrounding ourselves with the church community. The third things we do is trust that God is working in our lives to bring healing in ways that are abundantly more than anything we can ask for or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20-21) God desires our well-being. God desires to “enthuse” us with all that we need so that we can feel true love and deep joy once again. Slowly, step by step, we will find our enthusiasm again, by the grace of God. So smile!
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