I remember my playhouse as a child. It was my place of freedom, of exploration and of adventure. It was nestled in the trees of the shelter belt on our farm, built by a cousin who worked for us for the summer. I’d climb up the tree beside it to get to the rounded roof, where I could sit for hours reading or pondering life, or drawing with chalk on the roof, designs and pictures that would wash away in the next rain, creating a new canvas for more designs and drawings. I would rearrange the furniture inside so that sometimes it was a house and sometimes a store or a post-office or a doctor’s office. As I got older, I borrowed my mother’s oil paints and created wonderful paintings on each wall. I painted and re-painted the furniture. I played out adventures of teaching school or working in a foreign country. The playhouse was my domain. No one told me that I couldn’t paint it another colour or draw on it with chalk or move the furniture around. I talked to the birds and invited my dog & the farm cats to join my play. It was safe, it was engaging and there was freedom.
And that is PLAY!
Play is spontaneous. It is not work. It is not for real. It runs on no schedule. There is no required outcome, no goal that must be reached and no reward received. Sometimes it is fun, but it also involves every other emotion. There can be tears expressed in play and anger and frustration and delight. No one guides the play except the one who is engaged in playing. Challenges are set and problems are solved in unexpected ways. Play happens in a safe context where injury is unlikely, where there are no repercussions or consequences to the choices made, where there are no expectations imposed or outcomes set by well-meaning adults. Play involves curiousity & exploration. Imagination is key as sticks become paddles for a canoe, a chair becomes a throne, and old clothes become capes and armour and high fashion. It is the freedom and the experience that are key.
Play flows out of the child rather than being imposed by others from the outside. Within play, the child’s true self emerges as they have a chance to try on many different roles, characteristics and potential careers. Don’t worry if your child wants to be an airplane pilot today and a crocodile hunter tomorrow. This is exactly what should happen. The child should try on all sorts of possibilities and begin to discover what fits with their emerging self, a process that continues for many, many years.
Play is also the place where the child’s brain begins hard-wiring the ways it will do problem-solving and make decisions. In play, the child explores and expresses the whole range of emotions so that later they can learn to mix emotions (after about the age of 6) and begin to be able to make good choices based on tempering their wants and desires. In play, children face their fears and monsters and figure out how to deal with each. The learnings from play can not be taught, and if they are rewarded, they will disappear.
Nothing can take the place of play in the development and maturing process that happens within each child and within each child’s brain. Structured activities and sports don’t take the place of play. Video games and computer games are not true play. Recess is not play for many kids since they may not feel safe and free in this context and may not be able to follow their own imaginations.
Our children need true play in order to develop and mature. Yet, there is less and less room for true play in our society. Take time to watch and notice this week – when do your children play, freely, without structure, in a risk-free, goal-free environment, where they can just explore, be curious, try out things, create and be, just be?! (oh yes, and when do you play? You need it, too!)
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