We all need an Alpha in our lives, a higher power. It’s how we function best as human beings. When we know that there is someone/something greater than ourselves, we have two essentials for our lives: a) meaning & purpose and b) a place to rest from worries, fears & having to be the one in charge. I need to know who my Alpha is, so that I can be the best Alpha for my children – the one who a) helps them find meaning & purpose in their lives and b) gives them a place to rest from worry & fears.
I name the greater power in my life as God. Others may name the power as Allah, YHWH, Divine Mystery, Krishna, Jehovah, Heavenly Father, the eight-fold path of Buddhism or the dharma of Hinduism. Some may find their higher power in nature or in the whole world community.
I give my heart to God, my greater power, and then discover that God already loves me, already knows me. I watch, and I see an energy at work around me. I see God ahead of me working and loving in the difficult situations in which I find myself. I see God’s gentle wisdom, providing, encouraging and sometimes prodding me along. Then I can rest. I have someone to rely on, someone who knows me better than I know myself. I have meaning and purpose for my life, knowing that, even as one speck of a human being among the more than seven billion living today, I make a difference and have significance because I am connected to a force much greater than just me. I can be my true self when I rest and serve within the grace of God, rather than getting lost in all the other things that demand to be alpha in my life. And when I know that, I can provide the same for my children.
The alpha – dependent relationship is how relationships are meant to be ordered, not just in nature (think wolf pack), but in human relationships as well. We are meant to be the Alpha for our children, to know them, love them and care for them with no thought of return on our investment of time and energy. We are meant to give them a safe place to rest, to be loved and to become themselves. It’s about being a Compassionate and Grace-filled Alpha, not a domineering, demanding and bossy Alpha.
We’ve feared alpha energy. We’ve tried to down play it. We saw what happened when power and authority were domineering and corrupt. But, in trying to prevent the abuse of power, we created new problems. When no one is in charge, there is chaos and anxiety. Our children feel lost in the chaotic world and their anxiety and alarm grow along with the ways they try to reduce the anxiety and alarm. We as parents need to be the compassionate Alphas, the ones who create the context in which our children can work, play and rest within the knowledge of our love, and God’s love and grace.
But in order to do that as parents, we need an Alpha as well. The words of Revelation 1:8 ring clear, “I am the Alpha and the Omega.” God is not only the Alpha for us, but also the Omega; the beginning and the end. All that we are, all of life is contained within God. There is nothing outside of God’s realm. Our suffering and sorrows, our joys and celebrations, our dreams and our disappointments, our triumphs and our disasters – all are held gently within God, the Alpha and the Omega.
In the One who is both Alpha and Omega, we can let go and rest from our worries and our fears, we can take a break from being in charge. Understanding our own vulnerability and seeming insignificance in the whole scheme of things, we can find meaning and purpose for our lives, and offer that same meaning and purpose for our children’s lives, because we are held within the Alpha and Omega of all. We can be the Alpha our children need when we know our Alpha – our God.
*Thanks to the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld on the role of Alpha in human relationships. www.neufeldinstitute.com
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