Are you getting enough sleep? Maybe you’ve heard the numbers. Adults need 7-8 hours to stay healthy, alert and emotionally well. Children need 10-11 hours. Teens probably need at least that if not more. However, we live in a society that does not make room for sleep. To many who are so-called successful in their work brag about how little sleep they can get by on. Politicians are making major decisions that affect all of our lives and affect the world after long sessions into the wee hours of the morning or through the night (though that is more in the U.S.A. -it still affects us.) Doctors, especially as interns, are expected to work long, long shifts and still make major medical decisions. And that’s just the start of a very long list of those who do without the needed sleep.
I’m reading a fascinating book right now, “The Sleep Revolution: Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time” by Arianna Huffington (Random House, 2016). She unfolds for us the age-old wisdom, now being scientifically proven, that human beings need sleep – and lots of it. The statistics are staggering. To summarize, anyone functioning on less than 7 hours has the same alertness and ability to respond in a situation as someone with a blood alcohol level over 0.08. Functioning with little sleep is like driving drunk, something that we say No! to in society with penalties, charges and fines.
Arianna Huffington explores the scientific research which shows the beginnings of understanding what happens while we sleep. This is not just the body resting for the next day or conserving energy. During sleep, we process emotions, we work through experiences so that we can be more adaptive and resilient the next day, our brains do a clearing of toxic chemicals, and more. We need our sleep.
Sleep is also a sacred experience. That is part of the age old wisdom of sleep. In sleep, we let go and we trust in God to care for us, to hold us and to guide us. In sleep, we acknowledge that we don’t have to be in control all of the time, that we can let go of control and acknowledge that the workings of the universe belong to God. Those dreams you have, not only are they the brain processing emotions and experiences, but they also can be at times spiritual messages and wisdom for you to ponder. Do you wake up in the middle of the night and find yourself laying there? I consider that a time to pray for others and for the world. It is so easy to slip into worry during that time, but transform those worries into prayer, into sending love and well-being to the people and into the situations about which you are concerned. Rather than worrying about whether I’ll fall back asleep, I pray and find that I wake up in the morning realizing that I indeed did fall asleep. (By the way, “The Sleep Revolution” explores how to get a good night’s sleep.)
Sleep is not wastefulness. That is what we have been told in our post-industrial revolution society. We have learned to be cogs in a factory wheel that should keep going 24/7. But we are HUMANS! And as humans we are meant to be so much more than a cog in an ever-running machine. We are meant to be creative and imaginative and resilient and spiritual. To do those things we need sleep.
Our children need their sleep as well. More than activities and skills and knowledge, children need their sleep. They need to sleep to grow. They need sleep to remember the information they have taken in during the day. They need sleep to process their emotions and experiences so that they can handle the next day. One of the best things we can give our children is the opportunity for a good night’s sleep. Here are some things to keep in mind for you and your child:
the body needs wind-down and relaxing time in the hours before actually going to bed. Develop routines that signal bedtime is coming – of getting into pyjamas, reading stories, talking together about the day, listening to music. Not just pre-schoolers need this wind-down. Our bodies don’t release the chemicals needed to signal sleep if we are going full tilt right up until bed-time.
decrease the use of phones, computers, television, etc. in the time before bed. The light and the way these digital devices work stimulate the brain in a way that doesn’t promote sleep.
give up some activities, say No to more work/homework, change your schedule -- if these are interfering with getting enough sleep. Sleep is more essential than more work or any activity.
keep the bedroom free from work, homework, screens, etc., if possible. Create it as a relaxing, safe place, where one can cuddle in and enjoy.
make bedtime a time for relationship, for love, for cuddling. If there are difficult subjects from the day that have not been sorted out, try to keep these out of the bedroom (though sometimes they do come up just as your child in settling for bed, and you need to deal with them in a gentle, comforting way.)
if a child misses you at night, provide a connecting object – something of yours that the child can hold onto, such as a sweater or blanket or pillow that reminds them of you. Plant a kiss on it and ask them to hold it tight. Tell them that you’ll see them in your dreams. Remind them of what you are looking forward to doing with them/for them in the morning (I’ll have your bowl of cereal waiting on the table.) Even teenagers rest better if they look forward to Mom having promised to have their breakfast ready or their favourite clothes washed.
begin the day with a time of connection rather than a list of what needs to get done. It is so easy, I know, to get into the tasks of the day, but there is nothing better than ending a night of sleep with cuddles, “I love you,” and blessings for the coming day.
as parents/grandparents/adults, model making sleep a sacred priority in your life.
I’ve always loved bedtime and reading. I’ve always made time for afternoon naps as much as possible (it was known, when I was at theological school, not to come and knock on the door right after lunch – Susan will be having her nap, people would say). Yet, reading “The Sleep Revolution” made very clear why sleep is so important. Our bodies need sleep. We should be challenging our politicians and more to get good sleep so that they can make good decisions on our behalf. We need not be martyrs when it comes to sleep. Just like we say No! to drunk driving, we should say No! to people who brag about functioning on little to no sleep.
Let’s begin with ourselves and our children.
Sleep is a gift from God, a sacred gift, to help us enjoy life, make good decisions, be resilient, adaptive and creative.
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