Jesus was quite clear: anyone can love those who love them. That’s easy, and that wasn’t what he expected of his followers. He expected more. Love your neighbour, whoever they are, whether or not you think they are good and kindly. Love the stranger in your midst, reach out with a generous welcome. Love your enemy, do good to those who hate you. Don’t judge: treat them with respect & kindness. Share what you have with them.
In the current political and social climate, not just in North America but around the world, we need to live these teachings of Jesus more than ever. We need to risk being ridiculed or taken to task for being too soft hearted. The truth is that loving neighbours, strangers and enemies, no matter who they are, no matter what they believe, no matter how they treat you, is the far harder thing to do – and ultimately far more rewarding, both personally and for society. A bridge between people is far better than a wall.
So how do we teach our children about following Jesus’ teachings to love neighbour, stranger and enemy?
Model it. Our children learn from watching us. Do we complain about someone who speaks with an accent different than ours (and yes, we Western Canadians do have our very own accent), do we comment on someone’s “weird” clothing, do we wonder why immigrants can’t just become more “canadian”? Our children pick up on our language, our ideas, our tone of voice. We must model love of neighbour, stranger & enemy.
Continually monitor our language and our assumptions. There are words that, while socially acceptable, are actually racist, sexist and inappropriate. We make assumptions by looking at a person that have no basis, in fact. I remember being in a grocery store, and a aboriginal gentleman approached me. My first thought was that he was going to ask me for money. In truth, he asked me where to find the crackers. I had made an assumption based on race, an assumption that I would have not made if a white person dressed the same way had approached me. I have never forgotten that moment, because it reminds me that even though I intend to not be racist, I am. I have to constantly check my assumptions and challenge myself to do better.
Talk with our children about sexist, racist (& other inappropriate) comments or jokes, if they make them or if together we hear someone (a grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbour) make them. Sometimes we don’t even think about how racist or sexist something is because we’ve always just spoken that way. For example, at Christmas, people talk about “Chinese” gift exchanges. The reason this type of gift exchange is called “chinese” is that it uses cheap, tacky gifts, and is a bit of a chaotic free-for-all. It is a racist term. I’ve had people say, “Oh well, it doesn’t really matter.” But it does matter. It sets a tone and an idea. I speak up when I hear the term and mention that it is racist, but I always offer a suggestion to change it to, such as “White Elephant gift exchange” or “Garage Sale gift exchange” or “Tacky gift exchange – terms that are not going to hurt anyone, I think – but do tell me if I’m wrong. Other racial slurs to watch out for “Indian giving” or “Dutch treat.” What others do you hear?
Don’t allow racist, sexist & other inappropriate comments or jokes in your household. If our children’s friends are over and make such a comment or joke, we gently and clearly tell them that that it is not allowed in our house because it makes fun of other people, and in our house we don’t do that. We also have never allowed “put downs” in our house, among any of us. We talk respectfully, even if frustrated.
Don’t allow such comments to go by, because they are “just” jokes. I’m Ukrainian. When I was growing up, dumb Ukrainian jokes were the thing. Let me tell you, they are not just jokes. They hurt people, they demean people; often people you would never intend to demean or hurt.
As a family, reach out to a neighbour with a kind gesture (shovelling snow, a plate of cookies, a bouquet of flowers from your garden), even if it isn’t reciprocated.
Say thank you to clerks in stores, to the garbage collectors, to the town workers who are working so hard to get our streets back into shape. Practice showing respect and kindness, even if you are feeling frustration underneath. Express your frustration in the solitude of your bedroom or basement, not at the person. Kindness will get you much further than angry words. You’ll keep your blood pressure down. And your children will see a wonderful model of living the Way of Jesus.
Get to know people who you would not normally take time to get to know, a person of a different faith, a grumpy neighbour, a person dressed in a way that seems odd to you. I remember in the 1980’s walking into the Jack Singer concert hall to hear Mozart’s Requiem performed. Right behind me were a young couple wearing black leather, sporting spiked, multi-colour hair, etc. While today that wouldn’t be quite as surprising, in the 1980’s, I could hardly believe that this young couple would be there for a Mozart concert. As it turned out, the concert had been held the night before at the Jubilee Auditorium to provide a bigger venue and, (in those pre-internet/e-mail days), we hadn’t heard the announcement of the change on the radio. I ended up having a wonderful chat with this couple about why we enjoyed Mozart’s music. Blew all my assumptions out of the water.
That’s what Jesus asked his disciples to do. Leave their assumptions, their judgements and their fears behind. To follow the Way of Jesus is to love God and love self, but then to step out in faith and love neighbours, love strangers, and love enemies. As followers of Jesus, we don’t just love those we feel comfortable loving. We don’t just love those we like and agree with. We love and are kind to those who are LGBTQ or Muslim or First Nations or Hindu, and even to those who are ungrateful or wicked or bullies.
In invite you this week to read two scripture passages and ponder them:
Luke 6:27-38 – Love your enemies and do not judge
Luke 10:25-37 – The Good Samaritan – be the good neighbour to all.
That’s what Jesus asks us to teach our children. That’s how Jesus asks us to live!
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